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+--- Thread: LATEST HEADLINES (/thread-2356.html)
LATEST HEADLINES - ben_in_boomba - 03-06-2008
***NEWS FLASH***
ENTERTAINMENT:
* Humphrey B. Bear comes out of retirement to host talk show
* Supporting actress with kleptomania "steals the show"
* Mr. Squiggle's wife dies of lead poisoning
* The little engine famous for saying "I think I can, I think I can" diagnosed with Alzheimers disease. Now says: "I think I did, I think I did"
* Fat Cat auditions for "Biggest Loser"
* Ronald McDonald launches bid to buy back father's farm
* Disturbing footage of Disney on Ice
* Inspector Rex to face corruption charges
* Family of "Wally" turn to Channel 7's "Where Are They Now" for help
POLITICS:
* Bill Heffernan makes inoffensive statement
* Mr. Speaker loses voice. Future in Parliament now uncertain
BUSINESS:
* Cigarette company execs still deny link between smoking and cancer and also dispute link between intercourse and pregnancy
* Despite drought, QLD Xmas tree grower says he has nothing to pine about
* Petrol company execs blame latest price hike on "the boogie"
SPORT:
* Anthony Mundine falls from stage during press conference in Sydney. Escapes serious injury by landing on inflated ego
* Football player gets through entire post-match interview without saying "Yeah, nah..."
MISCELLANEOUS:
* Petrol sniffers switching to cheaper substances such as cocaine
* A sloth nearing retirement age says he's just looking forward to slowing down
* Suspicious looking tooth cavity searched at airport
* Cat receives minor lacerations from scratching post
* Study reveals butterflies prefer margarine
* Impoverished cloud forced to pawn lining
* Camel steak spits at diner
* Mysterious white bear with ambiguous sexuality identified as "Bi-Polar"
* Newly recruited soldier discharged after remaining conscious during passing out parade
* The "p" in "psychology" threatens to break his silence
benbrodrick2008
- Anonymous - 03-10-2008
LOL!!!
Where did you get this stuff?
If you invented it you probably switched from sniffing petrol to cocaine recently!
- ben_in_boomba - 03-11-2008
All my own work but i'm not sure if that's something i should publicise or not!
- jfish1936 - 03-11-2008
Keep up the good work, Ben.
We're all laughing here,