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| kat87 |
| Im 18. You would think that I would have had some kind of a proper relationship by now, but no...you know why? Because I always and I really mean always fall for someone I just know is gonna break my heart in the end. What is wrong with me? I really need some help here guys...my longest relationship was less than 2 months!!! Im just so fed up and I can only blame myself. But no matter how much I wanna change, I always seem to fall back in the same trap. I just dumped a guy today because he was so wrong for me, and I just feel so lost! Please tell me what to do...because I obviously dont know myself. :( :( :( |
| GoodBai |
| "Tell me what to do".... Easy, give yourself time. At the age of 18 you hardly need to be pressing any panic buttons now about finding Mr Right. As regards falling for the wrong ones... well I think you're in the company of the majority of women on the planet in being attracted to the bad boy or the one who seems unattainable or the one likely to break your heart. There's nothing wrong with you at all. Chill out and it will all probably fall into place when you least expect it. The right type is out there somewhere although there are plenty of "wrong-uns" in Brisbane!. |
| HellPoe |
may be you are looking for someone like me (blush wink) .My longest relationship was for 5 working days . Well be nice to guys and give them the three months period so that they can show their progress. can u tell me what do u really expect from guys? |
| jacky |
| Jeez you must have had to sell a lot of your home made biryani on the street to earn enough Guilders to hire a girl for an entire “5 working days” hahahaha. For the 18 year-old I was 31 before I found a girl that I could see spending the rest of my life with 18 is still young, my guess would be you likely still have to figure out you which is a pre req before finding your "one" ... my 2 cents |
| Brisbane |
Fils bro... Fils... Aren't you the one always correcting my currency mistakes?? :lol: |
| cadmus |
| nice article...got ot through mail from somone....chk it out....related to the topic i guess This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is deWakerleyated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style. This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you. This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that. The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, bsaurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vinWakerleyation is coming |
| Fraad |
| okay i think its time to explain to you folk the "ugly duckling" syndrome. and this applies to men and/or woman. most "nice" people are either fat or ugly. i am being serious, people who grow popular, beautiful and/or rich usually turn up to be assholes just because of all the attention they got. people who where nerds/dorks/ugly/rejected grow up to be nice people. thats why usually nice people are not attractive (again this is not towards any one gender works both ways) so the best deal is to find someone who grew up ugly, nerdy, dorky whatver so got this "niceness" in him/her .. but then at some point they got all pretty either because they started taking care of themselves or they just lost weight or whatever .. there u get the best deal .. the person who is nice and beautiful/attractive. I know you are all enlightened right now and can go out and start looking for all those ugly ducklings out there .. as for you 18 year old.. chill out right now all your relationships are hormonal and about fierce making out in a dark corner and trying not to get caught.. things will change over the next few years. trust me. |
| gangster |
Very funny jacky re : HP - and also very wise words of advice. |
| HellPoe |
I wanted to reply then i thought ,jacky habibi always hesitate to reply ,so let him to do little bit fun :P I think i can get girls without having money in pocket. if u have doubt ,lets bet? do u want me to get choco in 5 working days? :wink: |
| Choko |
| Hey HP, stop it! Hey girl, don't worry, trust me all women have a natural radar for the bad boys! We like to think we can tame them and that they'll turn out nice, but you know what, they never do. You're only 18, I'm 30! And I only just found a 'nice' guy. Plus you have to remember at your age you're probably dating guys who'er only a bit older, so remember to take off 2 to 3 years for the immaturity factor - guys before you flame me, you know this is true! It's a sad saying that 'nice' guys or girls always come last. I was always the ugly duckling at school, now I kick those peoples arses into next week and the all the popular people have turned out to be major losers! Don't worry you're young, just have fun. |
| Johnny Bravo |
| 18 TILL I DIE! |
| CheckShoo |
| At the age of 18, you should be having fun... you are too young to think about all this long term relationship... ... trust me I was 18 once! |
| Johnny Bravo |
| AGE IS BUT A NUMBER |
| Johnny Bravo |
| AND AS FOR THE RADAR OF BAD BOYS...IS IT TO ATTRACT BAD BOYS OR REPELL THEM? SEPECIFY |
| Choko |
| Attract them matey! Girls always go for the bad boys, don't know why, it's some sort of built in thing where we desperately want to tame them. Hence the saying 'nice guys finish last'. Good guys don't always get the girl. |
| Johnny Bravo |
| OK...I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE WE ARE OPERATING ON THE SAME WAVE LENGTH. IT WAS A WAY OF SARCASM BY THE WAY....BUT CLARIFICATION WONT HURT. IT IS A HUMAN INSTINCT.....WE ARE PRE-WIRED WITH WHAT YOU ARE SAYING...AND IT GOES BOTH WAYS AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED....NICE GIRLS MAKE ME FEEL SICK! WE ARE NOT PRE-WIRED TO BE NICE.....WE ARE JUST PRETENDING TO BE NICE. LOOK AT ANIMALS BEHAVIOUR...THIS IS THE STARTING POINT |
| Johnny Bravo |
| AND FOR THE TAMING THING.......I DONT THINK IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA...OR YOU WILL BE ENDING UP WITH WHAT YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING FROM...THATS IF YOU SUCCEED INTO DOING THAT IN THE VERY FIRST BEGINING. IF SOMEBODY WOULD LIKE TO TAME ME....PLEASE WEAR LEATHER & USE A WIPE....THAT WOULD BE EXCITING |
| Choko |
| Hehehehe - Cat o' nine tails? |
| Brisbane |
I don't follow :? |
| yurki500 |
| The whip which has nine (9) ends to it is refered to as the cat 'O nine tails. Was this not used on the old Spanish and English galleons during our glorious reign of the seas (British that is) hahahahahahahaha |
| kat87 |
I dont really know what to expect of guys anymore. I mean guys are in general just very unpreWakerleytable. All I want is a guy who can be honest with me. But sometimes it just seems too much to ask for. |
| kat87 |
| Thanks for all the advice guys. :) I know I should just lay back and have some fun, but Im just really getting tired of THE GAME. Just for once Id like to meet someone I can spend quality time with. |
| yurki500 |
I don't think that was the kinda advise we were trying to give you, if you know what i mean ......................... :wink: :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: |
| kat87 |
Yeah yeah, I know what you mean...I didnt mean it like that either though... :lol: |
| HellPoe |
| [quote:3b95AUD27e]I dont really know what to expect of guys anymore. I mean guys are in general just very unpreWakerleytable. All I want is a guy who can be honest with me. But sometimes it just seems too much to ask for.[/quote:3b95AUD27e] Are u not Dane? if u come back ,look at me :P i am quite honest and preWakerleytable :dontknow: |
| Johnny Bravo |
| CATO NINE TAILS...HERE I COME CHOCO...BITE ME! |
| emadullah |
yeah u have a point therefor i m still single yet....i dont know who will come to my life....hahahaha i m kinda boring person yeah nice guys are always boring....coz dont know how to lie to a girl.....and blah blah blah... |
| Defo |
| U just gotta chill and u will meet the right person one day :wink: |
| Choko |
Dude, why are you SHOUTING!!!! Enough of the capitals, or I'll whip you till your ar** is red and sore - hehehe |
| gangster |
| Johnny Bravo Choc is correct - using Capitals is liken to shouting, use lower case |
| jacky |
HAHAHA actually he wrote wipe not whip, which is way more freaky, probably wants someone to get up in there and clean ever soiled sticky arse hair HAHAHAHAHA |
| jacky |
Habibi yes Caps are annoying but no more so than you repeating what every women writes. |
| aduberdu |
man i gotta admit thts fuckin true....its all true.......way to go dude....way to go |
| kelliy |
| I disagree that women always go for the "bad guys" and honestly don't know what the definition of a "bad guy" is. Is it a male who is really masculine, perhaps a bit more bossy or aggressive with others? I certainly hope it doesn't mean they are criminals :) My advice to teens is to be open to different types of guys, not just ones who fit a template you have created in your mind. For example, "I only date skateboarders.", or "I only date tall guys with dark hair and light eyes." Also, don't only date guys who ask you out - you too should be asking out guys who interest you. My own experience is that I always went on a date with a guy who asked me out himself, not through one of his friends. (Too weak if he can't ask me out himself!) Even if the guy wasn't particulary attractive or didn't necessarily share the same interests as me, I still went on at least one date so that I could give him a chance and get to know him better before I wrote him off. Many times I went to the school dance or on a date to the movies or something and then realised that the guy wasn't for me, so then told him I didn't want a second date. Other times I was pleasantly surprised and ended up dating for a longer time. I met my husband and university and he is a "nice guy", a gentleman, shy, respectful (most of the time unless we are in a big fight over something :oops:). He's very sporty, so perhaps that is where I get my "bad boy" fix. Believe me, when I see him playing sports as well as he does it is a real turn on. Also, my husband is good-looking and always had some women chasing him. Despite this, he wasn't a womaniser and he doesn't have a big ego. So, we are proof that "good-guys" do get the girl in the end. :) |
| Defo |
I know :P :P :D The intuition of a girl is to seek for a man who can take care of her children. ''Bad boys'' arent capable doing that... |
| kelliy |
| Exactly Defo. :D |
| Defo |
| :wink: |
| Fraad |
| but that only comes at the more mature stage of looking for a life long partner. when ur in your late teens or early 20s and all you want is fun (i really mean fun this time haha) nice guys do get left out ... |
| kelliy |
| Sorry Fraad, not everyone is like that. :) |
| Defo |
As I am a nice guy :P ... I can say that aint true :) |
| Choko |
True, but if you're going to put it in those terms, naturistically speaking, then a woman would automatically look for the strongest male with the best genes for her offsping, not some wimpo zoom dweebee man. |
| Defo |
Yeah, also true... So girls are looking for a gentle and strong man?! 8) :wink: |
| kat87 |
| People keep saying that girls and boys in their late teens only want fun. But I can tell you that it isnt true. I want something more and deeper. Now how come I cant get it? |
| Defo |
Maybe u are looking too much for it...? |
| mINOR pLEASURE |
youve just dumped a guy because he was so wrong ??? well maybe you've used all your time looking for the rights and the wrongs than actually enjoying the whole relationship... girl dont worry about details much and dont be too technical looking for a good partner is not like buying a computer or a cell phone where you compare specs .... its all about feeling and chemistry .... and dont worry dont try to look it will come girl your only 18 you have the whole world a head of you !!! for example me and my girl there are lots of stuff that i hate about her like she thinking taht there is nothing far important than watching desperate housewives, and sooooooooo many stuff that can actually make me say WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! and loose it but each and everytime we try to fight about the stuff we hate about each other we end up laughing about it and sometimes we end up naked and moaning hahahaa if you feel that just having that person around makes you extremely happy even then youll know that he / she is the one .... there would be times that you will hate him or hate his habits !!!! thats normal !!! thats very very normal !!!! so welcome to this thing called relationship just go with the flow and be happy with it !!!! since your just 18 most prob. youlll experience more puppy love and break ups but just a piece of advice dont take it like your buying a mobile... take it like your hanging out with a friend laugh be happy and never pretend !!! its better to end a relationship if its gonna end smiling and taking with you happy memories !!! |
| mINOR pLEASURE |
oh man stop this you make me puke !!!! we have all seen (how unfortunate of us) your photo justa simple reality check !!!!!! YOUR DEAD FCKING UGLY !!!! this tatic you use to boost your confidence doesnt work wake up and smell the shit infront of the mirror !!! YOUR DEAD UGLY !!!! so live with it !!!! your ugly plus your attitude and wits is not really your strong side so in the language that you will understand .... YOUR DUMB STUPID, RUDE and UGLY !!!! and you will get choco in 5 working days ??? what you will get her to puke ???? sheeeesh!!! |
| gangster |
IMHO you are only 18 and appear somewhat immature. Your post is worded and would have more meaning if you were a lot older. When you grow up, the answers you seek will come without having to ask them. |
| kat87 |
How dare you talk as if you know me. I may only be 18, but you can't just assume Im as immature as other 18 year olds. Age has nothing to do with what I feel. Just because Im not in my thirties doesn't mean that my feelings dont mean anything. |
| Brisbane |
I agree somewhat with you. The somewhat arises from the fact that you are 18, so you are not yet over the hill, even for Australians 18 these days is youngish... I would start to question things by 25 and be VERY WORRIED by 30... You still have a good 10 years. By 28, try to be married I think. |
| gangster |
I dont know you, but i have read what you have written. End of....! |
| Palkid7 |
| Well kat87, I want to ask u what age r u dating usually, cause maybe it is an age problem !! for instance, I knew some girls that used to date older guys, and I mean older by 5+ years! so maybe it is an age problem, tat u can't get along with someone cause he is not thinking the same way u do !!! have u thought about that ?!? :?: |
| che78 |
| Hiya all, it's true, girls always go for the bad boys and it defies logic :? I mean, if I think about all the girls that I've out with in the past, it's always been the times where I've been hollier than the pope himself where I have ended up being dumped, srcewed over or just ignored for no reason. A girl would go out with GOOD WILL :angel7: for a date or two and then BLAM..she disappears of the face of the planet???? No reply to my phone calls or texts, no sorry things didn't work out, nothing at all. And you know what?? It confuses the hell out of you because you just kinda slap yourself silly in disbelief, rewind the whole episode in your mind, from the moment you meet the girl until she suddenly gets abducted by aliens!! All the time trying to look for clues, to remember exactly where you messed up, and you just can't think of anything! This last happened to me when I came here on holiday last year and I met this lovely girl that works for Australia as cabin crew, went out with her a couple of times, and was more of a gentleman than Lord Byron himself, because her friend told me she had a couple of bad experiences wirth bad boys in the past and I should just take it easy. So I did and I never made it past the 3rd date! However, those times where EVIL WILL :twisted: takes over (not that evil really he's just a little misunderstood!) it's the completely opposite effect and the girls are usually the ones chasing after you (not to sound too chauvinistic!) and can't seem to have enough of your company. Now I'm a very laid back and sweet guy by nature :oops: but I found out that I have to go against my nature to get anywhere with girls (or human beings for that matter!) |
| Fraad |
| che78 stay away from cabin crew form my expereince they are so instable and messed up .. if you want a "f&ck buddy" or one night stand then go for them .. other than that forget it .. i know i am stereotyping and probably offending the decent cabin crew out there (and i am sure they exist ) but this is my conclusion after my few expereinces |
| boostah |
| we doods go for the bad girls too :( |
| hashman |
Well u r wrong arnie, not all 18 r olds are like u when u were in 70's. Some are much smarter and it depends on the environment u were brought up. Yes 18 is the age where u r border line of adolescent and adult and things can be really confusing. have patience and u will make the right decision. |
| kat87 |
| Thanks Hashman. :) |
| scmegan |
| Why do I ALWAYS fall for the wrong type??? Tell me about it :!: :lol: :lol: |
| gangster |
The above in bold is what i make reference to. At 18 the only "proper" relationship she may have come across was probably "at School". Hardly a "whole life experience" dont you think?. When we start to attend "The School of Life" that is the time to start asking these questions, not when we are "at or just out of School". And with respect, very few TRUE "proper" relationship exist at this stage of life. It happens but rarely. |
| pacificsurf619 |
| Just sell it, then atleast you can buy yourself a carton of icecream to console yourself with :o I might get banned with that one... crap :( |
| Choko |
| Well Ok I do have to slightly agree with Arnie on this one. Most of my girlfriends are in their late 20's early 30's and still have problems finding Mr Right! BUT these are intelligent, fun loving, strong minded, awsome women, who through their earlier experiences now know exaclty who they are and what they want out of life and relationships. There's definately something to be said about experience, you have to get to know who YOU are and what YOU want and that only comes with time. So many of my old school friends married in their late teens early twenties and 99% ended within a few years, because other things like career, travelling, self exploration were put on the back burner and there came a point where they needed to do this stuff and the relationship suffered. I think a person has more to offer once they are comfortable in themselves and know exactly where they're going in life, certainly I've never felt happier, more content, driven and comfortable than I do now and I'm 30! I'm not married and don't honestly think I ever will be, but I have a great boyfriend and I'm happy with that. |
| giRLneXTdoOR |
| maybe you don't see that person like others do. u set your eyes to what you only wanted to see... |
| Leon |
| not all the men are the same.. there are good guys deserving your attention and time. |
| Evad |
| What should you do? Well you could always try getting to know these guys before you start dating them? See if you like them and if you guys have stuff in common, all that. Alternatively if these guys are breaking your heart then your clearly looking in the wrong kinds of places to meet guys. Try meeting some guys through things you like doing, for example if you really dig reading then just start chatting to some people at a library etc etc. Also I am in no way trying to offend you but going by the girls that I know the majority of them tend to be pretty shallow when it comes to dating. In other words they go for looks over someone that actually cares / someone who actually has a personality. So maybe give some not so good looking guys a chance? Although in saying that last part I am somewhat bias because I've been hurt by a lot of girls that I really did care about due to my looks... Anyways, theres my advice... |
| Dario Western |
Hi kat87, Just relax - you're still young and have plenty of time. Don't rush into things. I'm 37 years old and I *still* haven't found a girl that I want to settle down and raise a family with. In fact, I didn't have a serious girlfriend until I was 23 years old. You need to set yourself some standards both for yourself and the guy that you want to attract. What do you want from the relationship? What traits do you value in a guy the most that you'll want to go out with him? What was 'wrong' with your last relationship? Did you sense what was wrong and attempt to correct it? Or did you just give up on it altogether without seeing it through with your man? |